confession of the homesick gal

People get so confused when I say that I miss Melbourne terribly much.
even my parents, well my dad especially. He thinks that i have a guy over there, which makes me like Melbourne more.

i dont blame them. I mean, my friends from childhood, church friends, high school friends, relatives and families are all in Jakarta. So why should I miss Aus?? Even I hated the thought of going to Melbourne before I moved there. And now to say that I havent felt like home yet in jakarta, you guys must think I'm crazy.

Now for the confession time.
One of the strong reasons i feel the way I do is,... get ready guys,,,
Is because I can escape from reality when I'm in Melbourne.
Being away from everything that's truly important to me, made me shift my focus and thoughts from them. I can act fine, normal, as if as I have a perfectly normal life.
I was not indenial, i was just ignorant.
I didnt want to care that much, since my thought was focused on personal life, ministry, etc when I was in Melbourne.
I just handed over those cares and concerns to those that were in Indonesia. my thoughts were "okay, im not in Jakarta. So that's not my problem atm. Let me just focus on my studies". I do pray about it, but that was just it.

Now that Im in Jakarta, everything is so different. Life has come to reality. and I am left with no choice but to deal with it. huu
but if Melbourne was my training ground, i guess God thinks im actually ready to face this all. I wanna believe in that.

Just to set things straight, my personal life seems great. My family's are all fine and healthy.
But there's more to things than just the physical/financial matter.
and that is where my reality comes in.