guilt

honestly, im not trying to be mean or anything.
it's free-will, i know. People are allowed to like anyone.
And i'm really grateful (i know) if there are people out there that puts their heart on me (read: likes me), but i really should think that they should try and understand the hint im giving them. The hint that just means "i just want to be friends". Is that so hard to understand?

suprisingly, i salute these guys. They've been doing the same thing for more than a year, and i have been giving them the same signals over and over again but they just dont get it. it used to work in other guys before and it should've.
correct me if my signals are wrong, but this is what i do:
- i reply their sms' if they do ask questions
- stick to just generic stuff, not personal
- everytime they say "aku-kamu", i'll reply with "gue-elo"
- when they ring me up for the 2nd time in a row, i will not pick the phone up
- i do not reply their sms if they only say "gnite, gmorning, im thinking of u, met istirahat"

please deh.. i dont want to continue this for long, but i dont want to hurt people's feeling.
i've learnt that a lot since i was in junior high, and i guess that's why i learnt not to be to friendly with guys, cuz i dunt wanna give false hope.

duh ditambah lagi im gonna go back to indo and there r 2 specific guys that really makes me not wanna go back to indo, cuz they're really waiting for me n i just dont wanna face them. It sucks cause i really wanna be friends with them,, who wouldnt? since they're so fun & nice, but if i'm stilly friendly to them, they'll just see it as a 'green light' which they will then just 'step on the gas'!

feel tired cuz ive been ignoring them lately, n i dont wanna feel so 'un-free' n guilty..