i'm a weak, weak gurl....

Oh God, wanna cry.... need ur strength....

you know what, sumtimes everyone has high expectations of us.. they expect us to be mature, they expect us to be independent, they expect us to be wise, they expect us to be good,, and in the end we really try hard to live up to their expectations..

okay, i know i live for God, and to Him only,, but this is besides the point.. My focus, my reason for living is still Jesus alone, but besides making my God proud, i wanna make other people proud too. I wanna make Mom proud. I wanna make Dad proud. I wanna make my family proud, and i'm sure that's all what we want.

But here i am, feeling so down, feeling so helpless, feeling so weak. But u wont see that in me. People cant see that in me, coz i wont show it. Im tryna look strong, and im tryna look tough. When other people around me have problems, i often becum the ear that listens to their "curhat".. I'm sumtimes the shoulder dat they cry on. And yeah! i am a good listener and i dunt pour my heart out to every people. maybe thats why people think im so calm.

but now, i wanna say "STOP! Stop feeling miserable" to everyone around me. Coz i cant always be the person who cheers them up everyday. I cant be the supporting team thats always cheering for them. Coz sumtimes i wanna be cheered too. I wanna say to everyone that has high expectations of me that "No! im not that mature! No! im not that tough! No, Im not that calm! No, im not that happy all the time. But im trying to"

when things go low, i always force myself to see the light in front of me. To see the wonderful life that God has in front of me. I force myself to have a great vision, coz i know that it will get me up on my feet again! and bikin semangat hidup lagi.

so please, if i can be like that, i know everyone can see that they have a wonderful future with God.

Just believe! and when u do that, ur gonna live a whole new life...

please do all of us a favor,,Live a happy life..stop feeling miserable.. Coz when u feel miserable, ur making other people miserable too.. Life's great! it is! So put the misery aside so you can see the wonderful joy there is in life...

love & peace

God bless u all